Well it is the word that I came across when I was watching ‘Million dollar baby’. After watching
the movie I searched it on google and then I read its Wikipedia page. In the
plot it was written that Eastwood experiences five stages of grief and then I
came to know about this theory. I found it quite catching and worthy to share.
The Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, is a
series of emotional stages experienced by survivors of an intimate's death,
wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and
acceptance.
The model was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, and was inspired by
her work with terminally ill patients
Kübler-Ross noted that the stages are not a complete list of
all possible emotions, and can occur in any order, and that not everyone who
experiences a life-threatening or life-altering event feels all five of the
responses.
Stages
The stages, popularly known by the acronym DADBA, include
a. Denial — One of the first reactions is
Denial, wherein the survivor imagines a false, preferable reality.
b. Anger — when the individual recognizes
that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate
individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase
would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to
me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would God let this
happen?".
c. Depression — "I'm so sad, why
bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the
point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
d. During
the third stage, the individual becomes saddened by the certainty of death. In
this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of
the time mournful and sullen.
e. Bargaining — the fourth stage involves
the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation
for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed
lifestyle. Other times, they will use anything valuable against another human
agency to extend or prolong the life. People facing less serious trauma can
bargain or seek compromise.
f.
Acceptance
— "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well
prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or
inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying
may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm,
retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.
Kübler-Ross later expanded her model to include any form of
personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income,
major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction,
incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility
diagnosis, and even minor losses.
Both sufferers and therapists have reported the usefulness
of the Kübler-Ross Model in a wide variety of situations. The subsections below
give a few specific examples of how the model can be applied in different
situations:
Situations
§ Children grieving in divorce
a. Denial
Children feel the need to believe that their parents will
get back together, or will change their mind about the divorce. Example: “Mom
and Dad will stay together.”
b. Anger
Children feel the need to blame someone for their sadness
and loss. Example: “I hate Mom for leaving us.”
c. Bargaining
In this stage, children feel as if they have some say in the
situation if they bring a bargain to the table. This helps them keep focused on
the positive that the situation might change, and less focused on the negative,
the sadness they’ll experience after the divorce. Example: “If I do all of my
chores maybe Mom won’t leave Dad.”
d. Depression
This involves the child experiencing sadness when they know
there is nothing else to be done, and they realize they cannot stop the
divorce. The parents need to let the child experience this process of grieving
because if they do not, it only shows their inability to cope with the
situation. Example: “I’m sorry that I cannot fix this situation for you.”
e. Acceptance
This does not necessarily mean that the child will be
completely happy again. The acceptance is just moving past the depression and
starting to accept the divorce. The sooner the parents start to move on from
the situation, the sooner the children can begin to accept the reality of
it.[3]
§ Grieving a lost amorous relationship
a. Denial
The person left behind is unable to admit that the
relationship is over. He/she may continue to seek the former partner's
attention.
b. Anger
The partner left behind may blame the departing partner, or
him/herself.
c. Bargaining
The partner left behind may plead with a departing partner
that the stimulus that provoked the breakup shall not be repeated. Example:
"I can change. Please give me a chance." Alternatively, he/she may
attempt to renegotiate the terms of the relationship.
d. Depression
The partner left behind might feel discouraged that his or
her bargaining plea did not convince the former partner to stay.
e. Acceptance
Lastly, the partner abandons all efforts toward renewal of
the relationship.
§ Grieving in substance abuse
a. Denial
People feel that they do not have a problem concerning
alcohol or substances. Even if they do feel as if they might have a small
problem they believe that they have complete control over the situation and can
stop drinking or doing drugs whenever they want. Example: “I don’t have to
drink all of the time. I can stop whenever I want.”
b. Anger
The anger stage of abusers relates to how they get upset
because they have an addiction or are angry that they can no longer use drugs.
Some of these examples include “I don’t want to have this addiction anymore.”
“This isn’t fair, I’m too young to have this problem.”
c. Bargaining
This is the stage that drug and alcohol abusers go through
when they are trying to convince themselves or someone else that they are going
to stop abusing in order to get something out of it or get themselves out of
trouble. Example: “God, I promise I’ll never use again if you just get me out
of trouble.”
d. Depression
Sadness and hopelessness are important parts of the
depression stage when dealing with a drug abuser. Most abusers experience this
when they are going through the withdrawal stage quitting their addiction. It
is important to communicate these feelings as a process of the healing.
e. Acceptance
With substance abusers, admitting the existence of a problem
is different from accepting the problem. When a substance abuser admits that
he/she has a problem, this is more likely to occur in the bargaining stage.
Accepting that he/she has a problem is when you realize that you have a problem
and start the process to resolve the issue.
As stated above, Kübler-Ross claimed these stages do not
necessarily come in order, nor are all stages experienced by all patients. She
stated, however, that a person always experiences at least two of the stages.
Often, people experience several stages in a "roller coaster"
effect—switching between two or more stages, returning to one or more several
times before working through it. Women
are more likely than men to experience all five stages.
However, the Kübler-Ross hypothesis holds that there are
individuals who struggle with death until the end. Some psychologists believe
that the harder a person fights death, the more likely they will be to stay in
the denial stage. If this is the case, it is possible the ill person will have
more difficulty dying in a dignified way. Other psychologists state that not
confronting death until the end is adaptive for some people.
For Details.
Thanks for reading. I hope that the content might have gone fine. Please don't forget to leave a comment. Your views and reviews always matter. :-)
Thanks for reading. I hope that the content might have gone fine. Please don't forget to leave a comment. Your views and reviews always matter. :-)
